So, this is a blog. To be more specific, it is my blog. Who am I? Well, I am Tony and by no means am I a perfect Catholic. Then again, who is? Well Mother Teresa, Pope Francis, and Mel Gibson (Just kidding!) get pretty close. It can be a daunting task to look and see those people who are holier then thou and try to reach that level.
Some might try to give up I'll never be as good as them, so why bother trying?
Some may rise to the challenge ( like my current parish priest) I'm going to become a saint! I'm gonna throw fire and create darkness! I will rain Slurpees from the sky!
And a few might do nothing ehhh I'm just gonna read the new One Piece manga and try to make it to Mass on Sunday. That's good enough right?
Then there are people like me. People who just try to live out their lives in a holy and Christlike way. No, I don't think I'll become a saint (and what would I become the saint of anyway? Tony: Patron saint of the snooze button?), but God still has expectations of me, and I should constantly strive towards Him. It can get reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyyy tough though....
As I said, I'm not a perfect Catholic, but I'm always trying to figure out where to go with my life. My pastor said that if I want to know what to do with my life, I should pray to Jesus during Adoration, and try to keep my mind completely empty and open to Him.
I didn't think it would be too difficult. *Insert laugh track here*
So I sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and clear my mind. It takes a good half minute to sweep away all of the distracting thoughts and hide them all under the rug. My mind is now completely clear. I stare at the Sacrament. Not thinking about anything.
Staring. Silence. Emptiness. Silence. A thought...back to silence. Blessed Sacrament. Transubstantiation.
So what are you going to do for dinner tonight?
That one thought sends my mind into a mental checklist of food I need to grab from Fred Meyer. That one thought destroys my concentration, and it takes another half minute to clear everything away again. (I ended up having pizza for dinner in case you're wondering)
So I clear my thoughts, ready to open myself to Jesus...........................
You know Beyblade had a really cool theme song.
Now my head is filled with the guitar riffs of the Beyblade season one opening. (If you wanna nostalgia out, here's the link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if8YvZG800c)
So I failed again, and was only about 5 minutes into Adoration. I continue to try to open my mind to the Lord, but achieved the same results. Sometimes, I got a good 2 minutes of clarity before random thoughts would enter my mind. Before I knew it, Adoration was over and I was no where close to figuring out my life.
I talked with my priest later and he said that it would take time. I guessed that it would, but it would have been nice if God would have just appeared in front of me, like Gabriel did for Mary, or Nightcrawler did for the X-men.
I guess this is going to take some time. I'm not going to figure out life with a snap of my fingers. God didn't make the earth in a day, so asking Him to lead me down the path of righteousness will take some time. (If mathy people want to try and convert the time it took to create the earth into how long it will take for the Lord to speak to me, please do so and get me the results.)
In the mean time, I will try to live the life God has set out for me, and do His will every step of the way. That is what makes someone a Catholic Badass, and that is what I want to be. Someone who lives a good life, stumbles along the way, but keeps going back to God, ready to do His work. We may not be badass Catholics, but as long as we strive towards God, we will be Catholic Badasses.
Peace and Love
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